I rarely get the urge to write without feeling guilty about being behind on my journal-keeping, but tonight has sparked a desire to record my thoughts lately.
Today I found out that a distant friend of mine lost her 2-year old daughter yesterday due to a drowning incident. My heart is absolutely broken for this sweet lady and her family. To lose a child would be immensely devastating, but on Christmas just seems to add insult to injury. I question why a loving Heavenly Father would take a child in that way, or take a child in any way for that matter? In my limited opinion, children should bury their parents, not the other way around. I look at my Grandmother who carried my mother and her twin sister for nine-months, getting excited to meet and raise two beautiful little girls, only to find that one of them would have fatal birth-defects and die only a month later. My heart aches for families who lose children. It seems so unfair in so many ways.
But, at the same moment, there is a small amount of envy for those children who get to go home to a loving Heavenly Father, who get to embrace our Master so soon after leaving His presence. These angels don't have to experience many of the pains and anguish that rack us almost daily in our mortal exsistence. They don't sin. They don't fail. They are pure and sweet and perfect and only needed a body to fulfill their mission in establishing their place in the Celestial Kingdom of God. They will have families, and increase, and love, and experience, and opportunities for growth beyond anything we here on earth can comprehend! Having this knowledge makes me so incredibly grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. In celebrating His birth only yesterday, I am reminded of His infinite love for each of His children. For in His atonement we have all become His, we have been saved by His grace. I know that He has provided a way that I can have my family for Eternity and that my sweet friend will be able to hold her daughter again in her arms, to look into her eyes, to smell her hair, to tickle her tummy, to laugh, and play, and grow together forever. What joy and comfort can be taken in this knowledge!
I often scare myself with the thoughts of losing my family. It's something that I don't like to think about as I am sure many don't as well. It's a horrible thought. But then, again, I think of my Savior. I think of the Plan of Salvation and am comforted to know that no matter what happens, I am sealed to my family for Eternity and death CANNOT conquer that sealing. What is mine here will be mine forever if I keep myself worthy of that supreme blessing.
This mortal exsistence is not easy. In our heartaches we can seek out the comfort of our loved ones and that which the Lord provides for us, but it still hurts. We still cry and feel and hurt. That, my friends, is when we can get on our knees and admit to our loving, merciful, and perfect Heavenly Father that what we have been given, we cannot do alone. We need to be willing in those hard moments to allow Him to take that burden for us and walk along side us, just like those in our lives who lift not only our burdens, but us as well when we can't go any further. He will send us angels on both sides of the veil who will strengthen our hearts and our backs to pick up our loads and carry on.
Again, my heart goes out to this sweet family. I love you, and even though we are not close, you reflect on my heart and mind at this time and always. I know that God lives. I know that His Son, Jesus Christ, IS the Savior of the World. I know that we can be comforted by the Holy Ghost and that we are truly the children of a loving God. He is the perfect parent and entrusts these little ones to us here on earth because He loves us enough to allow these perfect angels into our homes to teach us, to try us, and to love us unconditionally. I will hold my children a little closer tonight and thank God for the opportunity I have of being their mother. Remember the first gift of Christmas was a child. The child. The Son of God who came into the world to save us from sin and from death. With this knowledge, I am happy and know that there can be peace even through our challenges.
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